WOW IT'S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE I HAVE NO LIFE...

...as I post a second day's blog for the second day in a row...

But as I sit here on my couch.. don't judge me, it just happens to be where I like to do my writing... and my TV watching and thinking and netflixing and (occasional) sleeping and...

shut up.

Anyways. As I sit here I realize how I have reached what might be a new low.

When I moved into this apartment I chose to live by myself. I have one bedroom. One bed. One couch. One desk. One bookshelf. One of everything.
Except in the kitchen slash dining room.... There it's like I tricked myself into thinking I had a husband and 6 kids because I have 8 of everything.

8 plates, 8 mugs, 8 bowls, 8 forks, 8 knives, 8 cups, 6 wine glasses (it used to be 8 but after a few too many glasses of vino I may or may not have broken two of them #myB) 8 mixing bowls, 8 place mats, 8 big spoons and 8 little spoons.

That's a lot of eights.

So if we count the big spoon and little spoon families as one big category then I really have 16 spoons in my house.

Not including the various mixing and measuring ones.

So someone please tell me how I am out of spoons and reduced to stirring my delicious, herbal, skin detoxifying, slendering, influenza fighting, sunshine out my ass tea with a plastic spoon.

PLASTIC SPOON.

photographic evidence. 

This is a bad turn of events.
First I lose everything I mentioned earlier and now I lose all my spoons!

What next??
Are the socks going to go on a safari trip and leave my feet alone in the cold?!
VIVA LA SOCK REVOLUTION!!!

...

Too much?

Anyways.. I will leave you (again) with this nugget of wisdom:
The rhythm of life is when you experience your own body, mind and soul.

Alright I stole that from my Yogi teabag.

G'night loves.
xxKK


and if you make fun of my john deere mug I'll run you over with my tractor.

WALK IN BATHTUBS...

So I was watching TV today and a commercial come on for walk in bathtubs.

They're easy access tubs for old people.  You can get the seated version where you walk in, close the door behind you and fills up around you.  Like sitting in a hot tub.  OR you can get the automated version which is like a lawn chair. You lie on in and it lifts you into the bathtub in a lying position.

Why am I telling you about something that is clearly aimed at old people?

Well, I'll tell you.

You see when these commercials usually come on I just sort of laugh and go back to thinking about the shoes I just bought or finding some advil for my headache, that sort of thing.  This time was different.  I was in the middle of twitter stalking Siobhan (find her at http://twitter.com/siobhans13 or http://siobhanstevenson.blogspot.com/)  And was quite involved with twitter-bugging her when the walk in tub advert came on.

And I was interested...

Like... I put aside my gossip hunting and actually paid attention.  At first I was like meh. Commercial. Then I was like... hmm that looks pretty comfortable.  Hmm.. I like baths.  Hmm... I have bad knees, I could totally use something like that.  Oohh It has massage jets too! Oooh it fills up in only 3 minutes.  Oh look at that darling little shelf, I could put a book there and.....

whoa whoa whoa!

Who AM I???

Since when do my interests include walk in bath tubs instead of gossip? What's next? Dentures instead of blow jobs? Walkers instead of fast cars and motorbikes?

When did I turn into a grandma???

Who ever heard of getting banged in a walk in bathtub? Not sexy at all.

I need to do something young tonight.  I need to load up on booze and do something stupid, like shots off some man candy, and then have crazy sex with someone too old or too young for me.  Maybe throw in some disturbance of the peace and property damage...

Something that will convince me that even though my knees and back and elbows and hips and fingers are all old lady joints I am still 21 and just a kid.

ugh.

PBA needs to come through for me tonight....

I HAVE THOUGHTS..

...And if you honestly have an issue with that then you should probably go fuck yourself.

MugWug has told me that he feels I say "go fuck yourself" too often.

MAN UP!

Just kidding.  He might be right, I became a litttttle obsessed with that phrase lately, much like I have recently become obsessed with the song Shark in the Water.  (seriously, its an addictive song, I listen to it on repeat nonstop for like...hours. And I'm not exaggerating at all)

Anyways, more on my obsessing later.

Back to the I have thoughts thing.

So I'm finally starting to write again (not just blogs but also scripts) and it's been a long dry spell of no inspiration, creativity or drive.  So I'm sitting in front of my celtx (writing program) and somebody asks me what I'm writing.  So, since we're fairly good friends I start to tell them about my idea and how I'm still flushing it out and i'm not really sure where it's going but at least I'm putting some of it on paper at last.

Okay, technically on computer screen, but you get the idea.

Well I guess they didn't like my idea because they got out a condencending "ha!"

That's it.  "Ha"

I was like... okay and?

And they just shook their heads and changed the topic.

Beware my little frenemy... I know how to make your death look like an accident.

Just kidding but not really.

Ha.

Anyways so I had a lovely day at school (like you care) and now I'm home.  I'm home, where I told myself I would spend an hour cleaning, an hour reading plays,  30 mins of painting (or other relaxing artistic pursuits) and then a little more cleaning and then and ONLY THEN could I sit down and watch TV and chillax.

Well fuck.

I got home an hour and a half ago and I made the mistake of sitting down to go through my backpack.  And then I turned on the TV to check the forcast for tomorrow.  Then I wanted to see what was on later... but SVU was on so I ended up watching that.  Because it was an episode I'd never seen.  And then I made delicious dinner.  And now I'm still eating and watching television.

Crap.

I need to clean.
I really need to clean.

ughhh I'd rather be lazy.

Shambles.

That's all for now.  I need to go convince myself to get off my ass and clean up.