16 EVERYDAY GROOMING MADE DIFFICULT BY BEING DRUNK

1) showering. It is mad hard to hold on to that wine glass when you're drunk. and wet.

2) painting nails. what do you mean this doesn't belong on my face? 


3) Straightening hair. so burned. so so so burned.

4) clothing. i'd rather be naked.

5) MIRRORS ARE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS

56) choosing perfume. all i smell is sangria.

7) lipstick. go without.

8) time management. I'm supposed to do all of the above in less than 4 hours??

9) Hair brushing. Shit hurts, yo.

10) walking in heels. or walking at all.

11) earrings are tiny knives.

12) moisturizer? in ma eyes.

13) liquid eyeliner.... yeahhhh. no. just no.

14) bronzer. oops now I look like a guido.

15) blush. oops now I look like a guido with rosacea.

16) any hair styling at all. after hours of washing and straightening and pulling and brushing I still walk out looking like Ke$ha after a night of drinking in a hurricane.

..or maybe just normal Ke$ha hair...