OOOH IT FEELS GOOD TO BE STRUCK BY LIGHTENING..

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WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

As you know I was just back home for the holidays. What you don't know is that I was supposed to come back to NYC on the 3rd but my flight got canceled due to bad weather. 

At first I was like "Fuck!" 

And then I was like "Fuck yeah!" 

Extra day at home FTW. So I decided to go out and re-celebrate my last night. Now apparently tuesday nights are like a big going out night at home (lets face it… when isn't it a good going out night?) And I ran into Joey. Which is fine, whatever. 

But then I ran into Jack. 

Now Jack is a boy I've known of for a while but didn't ever run in the same circles. Anyways a few nights into my holiday vacation I ran into him at a bar and we got to talking and it came up that he was American (and I'm not) and we started joking that he could be my Green Card Husband. At first it was playful. 

Told all of our friends that we were getting married (they were drunk enough to believe it) 

After some bar hopping we started dancing. 

Oh jesus. 

This boy has more energy than a redbull on crack. 

I was nearly knocked over by all of his hip thrusts and shimmy shimmy shakes. But he is really hot. Like… gorgeous… so I kept dancing and flirting. 

Soon energetic dancing became energetic making out and before I knew it all of my lipstick was gone and I'd christened every corner of the bar with him. (Kissing christening not the… other… kind) 

So we exchanged numbers and promised to meet up.

Cut to a week later where I haven't heard from him and have started regularly sleeping with Joey. 

So I run into him, make a quick joke about how he never returned my call… then he drops it on me… he's been trying to get ahold of me. He took down the wrong number (oops booze) and he wanted to get together. 

Err.. oops? Missed opportunity, aw shucks. And it sucks that it's my last night because I'm sure he'd be a jackrabbit in the sheets but I bet he'd be enthusiastic in all the right ways. 

So anyways I'm hanging out with Joey and Jack is hanging around and he starts flirting and trying to dance (and we know where that goes…) so I sort of… take him to another part of the bar. Separate the two J's right? 

So we're flirting and joking around but I'm keeping my distance (or so I thought) and trying not to seem like a massive whore who's got two guys with her. But I guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought I was because people kept coming up and asking me about my boyfriend and I'm like "HA, no. Just a friend" 

But then I hear people coming up to him and talking about his "boo" and he… doesn't correct them.

Like… we made out once… I'm not your "boo"

So then it gets a little awkward because it's clear that he wants me to go home with him or at least have a repeat showing of the first time. 

And then there's Joey who's telling me how he's getting home later (hint hint) and I'm trying like hell to keep them away from each other so noone puts it together that 2+2 = Whore. 

Like I don't want people knowing what a tongue slut I was…

I mean usually I'd say no shame in that game but the thing is…  I just don't know the expectation in this situation. Like… I'm not dating Joey so I wouldn't care if he was playmate to someone else as well. Like we always use a condom so I'm not really worried about picking up some random girls VD from him. But I dunno if I'd want to see him making out with another girl in front of me… Like I don't mind if he screws her but I don't want to see it? 

Then again I thought I saw him on a date and the only thing I thought about was making sure his girl didn't figure out that he was fucking me because I didn't want to ruin a date… Like I wasn't jealous. (turned out to be his cousin in the end) 

But just because I don't care doesn't mean I should go around showing off the other guy I'm playing with. Or does it not matter? 

Ugh I just don't know how to handle it when the worlds collide. 

Any thoughts? 

Anyone? 

xxKK

THE JOEY FORMULA

Okay so I've been thinking lately.

(uh-oh) 

And I've realized something... I've been sleeping with Joey for about a week now and I haven't gotten all wibbly and lame about him. I haven't gushed about him to my friends, I haven't over analyzed every text he sent me and, frankly, I can't say with any certainty that I actually know his last name...

If you know me you know that this isn't usually the case. Usually once I get laid I'm in love.

Okay not that ridiculous... but I do... I fall for guys who just want to fuck me because it's just so much fun to chase after my dirty sexy playmates.

Anyways... following that formula you would think that I'd be all over that.

But I'm just not... does this mean I'm growing up? Getting over falling in love with my vagina?

OR

Does it mean that I'm losing the ability to love...

OR

Does it mean that I just don't fall for good guys...

Because Joey is a good guy. Like he's funny, he's sweet, he's dirty in all the right ways without being rude. He's not mean. He's not cryptic.
He's very fun in bed.
All of these are good things right? Like.. what's the problem? Because the list doesn't stop there...
- he's cute
- he's employed
- he's playful
- we have similar humor
- we are very sexually compatible
- he makes me laugh
- he puts me first
- he always kisses me goodbye
- he likes it when I sleep over

I could keep going...
but the thing is... this isn't gushing. It's just a list of facts. No emotion attached.

This is a good guy... I should be falling for him.

And it's good that I'm not because I don't live here anymore and I am so not a long distance girl.

But I kind of wish that when I left at the end of the night I got a little sad... that I missed him just a little bit and that I wanted to be with him for more than sex.

Por ejemplo... Last night I was planning on some good bye sex (I was supposed to leave today) but he wasn't feeling good. I was bummed out and he said sorry like a bajillion times and then finally (a little bit out of sorriness and a little bit out of horniness) he relented and invited me over.

Of course I got straight down to business... I walked in, took off my pants and heels, stripped off my outer layers and right before I was about to pop out of my knickers he was like "Oh... you wanted to get right down to it?"

Um... yeah?

Aren't you sick and feeble? Don't you WANT me to bang your brains out and then leave without a kiss goodbye?? Isn't this what all men want?

We ended up cuddling and hanging out for a bit before we got down to business and then after we watched an hour of TV before he conked out and I excused myself.

But after all that... after two hours of enjoying hanging out with him, having him do me just the way I needed and a butt tonne of cuddles I still didn't look back when I left.

I always shoot one last longing glance back when leaving my lust buddies but Joey is different.

Is this what a real relationship is like?? Friends who have sex? Because I like the hanging out and I like the sex... I just don't long for him the way I long for.. other.. people. And like it's not such a bad deal... get a good friend, get a good lay and call it a day. But then what about the magic of dating?? Like... do we give up the butterflies and three hour prep time? Do we give up all the fun of dating to get a good down to earth guy?

I just don't know.

I'm sure that I'll be talking about this topic again soon (since the idea of settling crosses my mind 6000 times a day) but for now I need to go pack my bag so I can get the hell out of dodge and head back to my city.

xxKK

I FUCKING HATE BOYS

Okay.
If we have a purely sexual relationship and you ask me to stay the night and I tell you I'll only stay the night if I get more sex and you agree then you are agreeing to a sexful time when you are with me. You are signing the silent contract that says I'm using you, and you're using me but neither of us are ever going to say that...

This does not give you the right to ignore me when we're out.

Because guess what, loser, spending energy on ignoring me when you and all your friends know me (and your friends are talking to me and being so nice) shows more than if you'd stuck your tongue down my throat and dry humped me on the dance floor.

People. Stop fucking ignoring people you slept with to avoid telling people that you slept with them.
Firstly... as stated it's more likely to show off your sexcapade more that skywriting a dick.
Secondly... it's childish. So what, you saw me naked... who hasn't?
Lastly, it's fucking rude. Like... I am damn good in bed and you bust a nut after 10 minutes so if I can be happy with only 10 minutes of dick than you can be happy with a few fucking minutes of conversation.

Ugh. But this story gets worse.

After he goddamn ignores me all night he then throws a fit because he lost at beer pong (how old are we??) and THEN, THEN he asks me what I'm doing.

Well... I'm watching you throw a fit over beerpong you big baby.

Then he asks if he's taking me home. I say yes. Because despite the lack of talking to me and the frustrating attitude I still like sex and I have a high level of sluttiness and a low level of self confidence.

So I leave my drink and potential fun and stuff and get in his car. He spends 5 minutes bitching about the fucking pong game. Then decides to ask me how I'm getting from his house to mine... i.e. he can take me to his house but can't take me home after. (btw he lives literally 4 minutes from me... not exagerating. FOUR MINUTES.)

So after 3 minutes of arguing he takes me home.

To my home that is.

Like... don't drag me out of town with your sourpuss attitude if you aren't even going to give me a good time.

Useless!

And then his goodbye is "Well have a good new year if I don't see you."

So... you aren't planning on seeing me. Awesome.

As I told Shiv earlier... we might be aware that we're using each other but that doesn't mean we want to hear it.

Goddamit. I don't even like this guy. I don't even fucking know him. I'm an idiot. And I just called my ass a cab to go BACK to town. Maybe now I'll find someone worth my time.
Peace.

OOPS. NO WILLPOWER

OH MAN.

SO much to catch you up on.

But lets just talk about last night. And then we'll go back in time in another post.

Anyways. It's been a few months since you heard from me and I'm back home celebrating the holidays and I've realized something.

Boys are just so much easier back home!

Maybe it's me being a brief visitor, only being home 2 of every 52 weeks, or the fact that I probably have quite the easy reputation here but honestly, it's just so much fun.

Anyways. The day I got home this kid I've known for a while starts texting and it goes from "hey how was your flight?" to "ya lookin sexy, come over to my house???" real fast.

And at first i was like SCREEEECH... pump the brakes.

But after a few days of wooing and lots of texting I gave in because... let face it... I have no willpower.
At all.
Ever.

So I went over last night. And at first I was so confused. Because when he said to come over and "watch tv" with him.. I didn't think that he actually meant that. But sure enough we watched two episodes of californication before he even started flirting. But once that second episode was over BOOM.

Sexy time.

It took him two hours to make a move but only 4 minutes to get from couch to bed to naked.

And normally I would be craving a little more effort... a little more set up time... but there was no need. I went over knowing what I wanted to happen and what was probably going to happen so really it worked out for everyone.

Plus skipping to the good part means we missed out all the less than fun stuff in between. Like blowjobs. Sorry guys but if a girl tells you she likes giving head then shes lying.
Or crazy. In which case you should hold on to that gem for as long as you fuckin can.

And to be perfectly frank I got way more than I bargained for. I expected some fumbling, groping and a quickie on the couch but I got quite gloriously laid.

I even stayed the night.

Which is usually a big no-no for me. Unless I like you or I'm stranded I don't want to sleep with you after I... sleep with you...
But it was pretty early, I had my moped and he literally lives 5 minutes from me. But when he asked me to stay I just wanted to. I did tell him that if he expected to stay that he'd have to have another showing in the morning.

He may have taken that a little too seriously... ha I was still half asleep when he rolled me over.
But not too fast buddy! I wasn't quite asleep enough to forget to grab a condom from his night stand (oooh how I love a prepared man)
Anyways last night was fun.
This morning was fun too heehee.

But there is a little kink in my rendevous with... Joey.
You see... Joey knows Marie. My sister. Who also reads this blog (hi Marie!)
The combination of that friendship, his other friendships and how small this town is means that I'm pretty sure Marie (who is living in England right now) will probably know by tomorrow that I'm sleeping with Joey. Which means pretty much everyone else will know too.

Which is fine, whatever. Don't let the sleeping over thing fool you, this is just a winter hookup. I'd love it to be a repeat hook up because I had fun but I'm not looking for a long distance boyfriend anytime soon. And I do plan on leaving this tiny town after new years and going back to my big city life.

It's just... less than ideal for any other winter hookup I might wish to start... or continue haha.

Anyways. I'm off to be at least a little productive.

xxKK