So I woke up this morning with a cough like the rattle of death.
After several hacks I texted my friend to let her know I would not be in class and went back to sleep for several hours.
Woke up, hacked a lung.
Went back to sleep
Woke up, hacked a lung, drank some tea and tried to sleep again but decided that since it was 5pm I should probably get dressed and get my butt to my 6pm rehearsal.
Somewhere in the middle I had some wonderful dreams that pretty wonderful.
And once awake I felt pretty much okay. Other than the occasional booming chesty cough, I felt fine.
Sounds like my day was going pretty decently right?
Wrong.
So. I'm in rehearsal. And the phone rings. But I miss the call... because I'm in rehearsal. And I always silence my phone in rehearsal. It rings again. Missed again. And then I get a text accusing me of sending the calls to voicemail.
Psycho.
Anyways I reassure my friend Belle that I'm not ignoring her I'm just busy (hey look at that, my life doesn't stop when you aren't in it, shocker) and let her know I should be out of rehearsal by 9 or 10.
So I ask her whats up (i.e. why are you calling me after us not talking for ages?) and she says she wanted to get dinner but now it's too late. (to be specific she said "Tooooo lateeeee")
Okay, fine.
So I ask what she's up to later (look at me, being all mature and trying to still hang out despite her accusing me of being a bad and neglecting friend and etc etc) and she tells me she's going to a movie with MugWug.
My MugWug.
The same MugWug who I haven't seen since I had that "heart to heart" 9 days ago.
The same MugWug who doesn't understand why I think that he's been slowly replacing me with Belle despite the fact that he hasn't talked to me about anything but work or school for quite some time but sees her every damn day.
Did I mention that Belle is the same girl who used to go on and on about how she didn't respect my friendship with MugWug and how she didn't think it would last because we met by chance and not based on any common thing.
The same Belle who tried to get with MugWug and then talked shit about him for ages. The same Belle who made me pick sides between her and him (I took his)
But now he's taking hers.
But apparently he doesn't see why that hurts.
Anyways. She tells me theyre going out so, after rehearsal due to the fact that I feel like death from my sickness rearing its ugly head, and shitty from my "best friend" not talking to me for a week but seeing her every night and going out and because I HAVE NO OTHER PLANS, I go home.
Sit at home feeling shitty for a while.
Bemoan to my ever understanding and wonderful friends Siobhan and Lizz and then
dundundunn
MugWug calls.
And it goes something like this:
MugWug: "What are you doing?"
Kitty: "about to go to the grocery store" (for hot chocolate materials)
MW: "Why'd you leave?!?!?!" (you might think my punctation is crazy but you should have heard him)
K: "Leave? Leave where?" (genuine confusion)
M: "Belle told me you had rehearsal"
K " Yeah?"
M: "Where?"
K: "Downtown..."
M: "Then why'd you leave" (he lives downtown, I live midtown)
K: "I got out of rehearsal 3 hours ago...."
M: "Belle said you would get out at 11" (which would still be an hour earlier fyi)
K: "No I told her 9 or 10... I got out at 9"
Belle: "She definitely told me 11" (me = rage that once again he's put me on speakerphone without telling me)
K: "check your damn messages, I said 9 or 10"
M: "Oh. well okay."
We talked a bit more but nothing of substance. No apology from him for excluding me from him night plans / acting mad that I didn't stay downtown when he never gave me reason to / believing Belle over me / not talking to me for ages / putting me on secret speakerphone / etc.
And now I'm like pissed at Belle because I can't be sure if she did it on purpose but she drove a wedge between us that didn't need to be there. Especially after she'd already pushed such a large wedge between us already. Like did she really think I didn't get out til 11? Probably not... we went to the same acting school for 3 years, she knows we don't have rehearsal any later than 10 any day... ever.
Whatever. I'm trying not to be paranoid.
I'm trying not to be annoying and over react and turn this into a big deal.
But I can't help feeling like a tiny labrador puppy that's been kicked multiple times by the bitch her owner replaced her with and then put to the curb without a collar.
Kitty is a sad puppy.
I don't know.
I know this is partially the drugs talking and partially the deep psychological damage of many people abandoning me in my life and partially my need to be wanted but knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.
Going into a nyquil induced coma now - hopefully something funny for you tomorrow.
xxKK
Psycho.
Anyways I reassure my friend Belle that I'm not ignoring her I'm just busy (hey look at that, my life doesn't stop when you aren't in it, shocker) and let her know I should be out of rehearsal by 9 or 10.
So I ask her whats up (i.e. why are you calling me after us not talking for ages?) and she says she wanted to get dinner but now it's too late. (to be specific she said "Tooooo lateeeee")
Okay, fine.
So I ask what she's up to later (look at me, being all mature and trying to still hang out despite her accusing me of being a bad and neglecting friend and etc etc) and she tells me she's going to a movie with MugWug.
My MugWug.
The same MugWug who I haven't seen since I had that "heart to heart" 9 days ago.
The same MugWug who doesn't understand why I think that he's been slowly replacing me with Belle despite the fact that he hasn't talked to me about anything but work or school for quite some time but sees her every damn day.
Did I mention that Belle is the same girl who used to go on and on about how she didn't respect my friendship with MugWug and how she didn't think it would last because we met by chance and not based on any common thing.
The same Belle who tried to get with MugWug and then talked shit about him for ages. The same Belle who made me pick sides between her and him (I took his)
But now he's taking hers.
But apparently he doesn't see why that hurts.
Anyways. She tells me theyre going out so, after rehearsal due to the fact that I feel like death from my sickness rearing its ugly head, and shitty from my "best friend" not talking to me for a week but seeing her every night and going out and because I HAVE NO OTHER PLANS, I go home.
Sit at home feeling shitty for a while.
Bemoan to my ever understanding and wonderful friends Siobhan and Lizz and then
dundundunn
MugWug calls.
And it goes something like this:
MugWug: "What are you doing?"
Kitty: "about to go to the grocery store" (for hot chocolate materials)
MW: "Why'd you leave?!?!?!" (you might think my punctation is crazy but you should have heard him)
K: "Leave? Leave where?" (genuine confusion)
M: "Belle told me you had rehearsal"
K " Yeah?"
M: "Where?"
K: "Downtown..."
M: "Then why'd you leave" (he lives downtown, I live midtown)
K: "I got out of rehearsal 3 hours ago...."
M: "Belle said you would get out at 11" (which would still be an hour earlier fyi)
K: "No I told her 9 or 10... I got out at 9"
Belle: "She definitely told me 11" (me = rage that once again he's put me on speakerphone without telling me)
K: "check your damn messages, I said 9 or 10"
M: "Oh. well okay."
We talked a bit more but nothing of substance. No apology from him for excluding me from him night plans / acting mad that I didn't stay downtown when he never gave me reason to / believing Belle over me / not talking to me for ages / putting me on secret speakerphone / etc.
And now I'm like pissed at Belle because I can't be sure if she did it on purpose but she drove a wedge between us that didn't need to be there. Especially after she'd already pushed such a large wedge between us already. Like did she really think I didn't get out til 11? Probably not... we went to the same acting school for 3 years, she knows we don't have rehearsal any later than 10 any day... ever.
Whatever. I'm trying not to be paranoid.
I'm trying not to be annoying and over react and turn this into a big deal.
But I can't help feeling like a tiny labrador puppy that's been kicked multiple times by the bitch her owner replaced her with and then put to the curb without a collar.
Kitty is a sad puppy.
I don't know.
I know this is partially the drugs talking and partially the deep psychological damage of many people abandoning me in my life and partially my need to be wanted but knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.
Going into a nyquil induced coma now - hopefully something funny for you tomorrow.
xxKK
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