WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GOOD?

The last time we spoke I was all ooh yay! happy shiny bright and a motherfucking sunshine out my ass.

Clearly... this is not the case today.

And it's not that I've given up on the life of positivity that I had planned out it's just that it's like the whole world is on my ass today.

Okay that's over dramatic.

But I've had a stressful few days at work due to so many phone calls and trying to make big girl decisions and being trusted to make said decisions despite the fact that I'm only 22 freaking years old and I'm kinnnnd of freaking out about this whole thing.

So as my new work friends and Liz can attest... I've been a little.. moody/bitchy/sad/stressed/angry/snacky/snarky/just plain mean... for the past 3 days.

This was not helped by the drama of family and friends.

Or the fact that it's been a year since I spent time with Marie and I miss the shit out of her.

Or the fact that I feel like I don't get enough sleep and when I do sleep I wake up sore. Or the...

...you get the point...

And then on top of it all for the second day in a row Will pops up on facebook just to say hi. ]
Like... says hi, asks what's up and then... nothing. Like... you avoiding having to see or really talk to me while I was home, you didn't answer my texts and you blow me off all the time. And then you want to just say hi? Like go away... be my friend or don't be my friend. And those are the only options now because honestly I'm not interested in playing the "I have a girlfriend but I want to flirt with you" game anymore. I've played it too much. I'm a goddamn master at it. It's not fun anymore.

Ugh maybe I'm just bitchy.. maybe I shouldn't be allowed to have nice people, who just say hi because they want to, in my life.
Maybe I need a drink. Or just some sleep.

Maybe this is just a rush of messy emotions and feelings because my period is just around the riverbend. I mean... I cried during Jersey Shore tonight.. clearly something is not right with me.

Alright... I have a super busy day tomorrow so I'm gonna get some shut eye but I hope you're all out there sending me some good juju so I can get outta the funk and back onto my annoyingly positive horse.

xxKK