I have been running every day for an hour (according to my treadmill this means I'm losing 600 calories everytime which SHOULD mean something) as well as a shit ton of sit ups and work on my back (okay I admit I need to work on my arms more but I havent yet)
YET
DESPITE THIS I STILL LOOK LIKE IM SIX MONTHS PREGNANT WITH TWINS
See I know these things take time but I had one hell of a shitty day which means everything seems horrible.
Just thought I'd vent a bit.
This is a fat mama Kat signing off now.
niiight.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
POST SCRIPT
P.S... In the last post the astrik (*) indicates a name that has been changed due to privacy.
Also, I'm home now. I rode my motorbike home and, lets be honest, it was a smoother ride than when I'm sober.
But don't tell the cops that.
Sleep tight.
Also, I'm home now. I rode my motorbike home and, lets be honest, it was a smoother ride than when I'm sober.
But don't tell the cops that.
Sleep tight.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I LIKE CHAIRS
So I started building my beautiful new furniture and I've gone from an awesome apartment with too little sitting to an awesome-er apartment with the PERFECT amount of seating with CHAIRS! (you hate me a little bit don't you... sorry)
Chairs are awesome. Let me just say that. You sit on them, you eat on them, you get comfy on them, you can stand on them to be taller, you can do dips on them (and get sexy arms), you can have sex on them... and if you've never had sex on a chair you are missing out.
I'm not talking boring up and down sex, I'm talking about the spur of the moment, you're working at the desk and he jumps you, skirt still on, chair tilted back sex. More fun if it has wheels :P
Sorry that was a little side note... where was I? Chairs?
Forget the chairs, lets go back to the sex.. I'm currently at a friends house (where, no, I am not having sex) and they are on their second beer and I am on my 5th (of course) and I call our other friend to come and he's like "yeah sure, I'm with Boris* (my sisters ex fling) and he wants to say hi to Marie* (my sister)" So I'm like "ha! tell him shes got a new boyfriend and he missed out on a good thing" and I start going on and on and on. Then I realize that the sound is pretty echo-ey... I am on speakerphone.
NEEDLESS TO SAY... not good.
Time to get onto beer #6.
Love you!
Chairs are awesome. Let me just say that. You sit on them, you eat on them, you get comfy on them, you can stand on them to be taller, you can do dips on them (and get sexy arms), you can have sex on them... and if you've never had sex on a chair you are missing out.
I'm not talking boring up and down sex, I'm talking about the spur of the moment, you're working at the desk and he jumps you, skirt still on, chair tilted back sex. More fun if it has wheels :P
Sorry that was a little side note... where was I? Chairs?
Forget the chairs, lets go back to the sex.. I'm currently at a friends house (where, no, I am not having sex) and they are on their second beer and I am on my 5th (of course) and I call our other friend to come and he's like "yeah sure, I'm with Boris* (my sisters ex fling) and he wants to say hi to Marie* (my sister)" So I'm like "ha! tell him shes got a new boyfriend and he missed out on a good thing" and I start going on and on and on. Then I realize that the sound is pretty echo-ey... I am on speakerphone.
NEEDLESS TO SAY... not good.
Time to get onto beer #6.
Love you!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
CURRENT ISSUES: THE FREEWAY, DELIVERY AND BIG BOOBS
Yes you read right, my current issues involve freeways, delivery services are large breasts. One may think that these are not the most important issues ever (world peace comes to mind) But its been a preettttty horrible week.
First I went to Jersey. That in itself should have wiped out all hope of a good week. (no offense if you're from the Dirty Jerz but all of my 4 experiences have been horrible) I needed to go to the Jers Ikea for furniture but we (myself and, my cohort in crime, Siobhan) missed the early bus. By missed I mean we got to the NJTransit early, bought tickets and then got royally fucked over by the idiots who think that they don't actually have to know anything about trains or train schedules to work at a train station.
So we missed the bus. So we go to buy a new set of tickets. The next bus to IKEA is at 12. This is not what Kitty wants to hear... so I plan this great excursion where we can take the 11:30 bus and it'll drop us off at Rochelle Park which (according to the map) is super close to IKEA. Perfect!
No.
Not perfect. The map lied. BIG TIME. And so did Google. Because we walked for a mile and then saw IKEA and we were like yay! Ikea! No more walking in the cold pouring rain (did I forget to mention it was raining and we had no umbrella... or substantial clothes) But then Google was like walk 33 feet, take a left and cross the street. So we walked 33 feet, took a left and... saw a freeway.
A FUCKING FREEWAY. No overpass, no underpass. A freeway with fast cars. An hour of planning and scheming and trying to buy ourselves rides with little old Jersey women and we finally took a $20 cab 300 feet over the freeway.
Stress. AND THEN Ikea is like "its raining we cant deliver your furniture." I was like really... because of the raaaaain. Wear a raincoat!
More stress. So I'm sitting here (two days later) waiting for my furniture, praying to god it shows up because I leave the country in 48 hours and I sort of need my furniture first. (Btw is a fucking beautiful day so they have no excuse.)
So those are the problems plaguing my life right now.
Oh yah and I have boobs.
P.S. Dear Siobhan... in hindsight I realize that I still had the previous tickets we purchased at the bus station... so all that time you were begging me to just get back on the bus and I kept saying we didnt have anymore tickets.... My B....
P.S.S If you aren't Siobhan read her blog at http://siobhanstevenson.blogspot.com/ I love you Shov!
First I went to Jersey. That in itself should have wiped out all hope of a good week. (no offense if you're from the Dirty Jerz but all of my 4 experiences have been horrible) I needed to go to the Jers Ikea for furniture but we (myself and, my cohort in crime, Siobhan) missed the early bus. By missed I mean we got to the NJTransit early, bought tickets and then got royally fucked over by the idiots who think that they don't actually have to know anything about trains or train schedules to work at a train station.
So we missed the bus. So we go to buy a new set of tickets. The next bus to IKEA is at 12. This is not what Kitty wants to hear... so I plan this great excursion where we can take the 11:30 bus and it'll drop us off at Rochelle Park which (according to the map) is super close to IKEA. Perfect!
No.
Not perfect. The map lied. BIG TIME. And so did Google. Because we walked for a mile and then saw IKEA and we were like yay! Ikea! No more walking in the cold pouring rain (did I forget to mention it was raining and we had no umbrella... or substantial clothes) But then Google was like walk 33 feet, take a left and cross the street. So we walked 33 feet, took a left and... saw a freeway.
A FUCKING FREEWAY. No overpass, no underpass. A freeway with fast cars. An hour of planning and scheming and trying to buy ourselves rides with little old Jersey women and we finally took a $20 cab 300 feet over the freeway.
Stress. AND THEN Ikea is like "its raining we cant deliver your furniture." I was like really... because of the raaaaain. Wear a raincoat!
More stress. So I'm sitting here (two days later) waiting for my furniture, praying to god it shows up because I leave the country in 48 hours and I sort of need my furniture first. (Btw is a fucking beautiful day so they have no excuse.)
So those are the problems plaguing my life right now.
Oh yah and I have boobs.
P.S. Dear Siobhan... in hindsight I realize that I still had the previous tickets we purchased at the bus station... so all that time you were begging me to just get back on the bus and I kept saying we didnt have anymore tickets.... My B....
P.S.S If you aren't Siobhan read her blog at http://siobhanstevenson.blogspot.com/ I love you Shov!
Monday, May 17, 2010
WHATS THIS SHIT IN MY TEA??
So it's Day 2 of this little experiment and I am debating whether or not I should do my pre-bed sit ups or if I did enough today to succumb to my weariness. I spent the morning at my old house cleaning out my sisters old bedroom. She hasnt actually lived there for over a year now but I never got around to cleaning it after she moved out so now its like a pile of shit.
So I was cleaning out the pile of shit all morning and crrying stuff deemed "not shit" back to my new house. I carried a total of 85 lbs in bags from 9th avenue to 10th. Which isn't far. But 85lbs is not a little thing! An that's down five flights of stairs and back up two more. And while dodging people from the summer street fair.
So I probably can take today off from sit ups right?
Slash I really love street fairs. I took some time out of my cleaning to walk the entire length of the fair... which you realize after the 4th block is just the same stalls over and over. But still fun.
Every time there is a street fair I cant help myself but to buy a glass of peach bubble tea (sans milk) because I love peach flavored tea and saying "I'll have a bubble tea please" is just so entertaining to me. But no matter how many times I order it I can't get over those gooey things at the bottom. Like... Ew. Theyre so... slimy... and gross and I never know if I should avoid them or eat them or just swollow them whole or spit them out. Such a problem. Usually I just try to avoid them but every now and then one shoots up the straw and takes me by surprise. Not like "happy birthday, here's a porche" surprise but a "oops I just came in your eyeball" surprise.
Hahahahaa. Let's just dwell on that imagery for a moment.
Okay thats enough.
(thats what she said?)
So maybe next time I should take someone with me who will remind me I should not buy the bubble tea because, despite the deliciousness of tea and peach, nobody likes cum in their eye.
Off to do sit ups!
xx kitties!
So I was cleaning out the pile of shit all morning and crrying stuff deemed "not shit" back to my new house. I carried a total of 85 lbs in bags from 9th avenue to 10th. Which isn't far. But 85lbs is not a little thing! An that's down five flights of stairs and back up two more. And while dodging people from the summer street fair.
So I probably can take today off from sit ups right?
Slash I really love street fairs. I took some time out of my cleaning to walk the entire length of the fair... which you realize after the 4th block is just the same stalls over and over. But still fun.
Every time there is a street fair I cant help myself but to buy a glass of peach bubble tea (sans milk) because I love peach flavored tea and saying "I'll have a bubble tea please" is just so entertaining to me. But no matter how many times I order it I can't get over those gooey things at the bottom. Like... Ew. Theyre so... slimy... and gross and I never know if I should avoid them or eat them or just swollow them whole or spit them out. Such a problem. Usually I just try to avoid them but every now and then one shoots up the straw and takes me by surprise. Not like "happy birthday, here's a porche" surprise but a "oops I just came in your eyeball" surprise.
Hahahahaa. Let's just dwell on that imagery for a moment.
Okay thats enough.
(thats what she said?)
So maybe next time I should take someone with me who will remind me I should not buy the bubble tea because, despite the deliciousness of tea and peach, nobody likes cum in their eye.
Off to do sit ups!
xx kitties!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
YOU WERE ALWAYS ON MY MIND...
So I took a little break from writing... a catnap if you will.
Okay, who am I kidding, I lost interest. I have the brain of a goldfish when it comes to trying to complete projects/hand in homework/ write a blog. My best friend likes to point out that of all the drugged out adderal popping hipsters we know, I'm the most in need of some ADD meds. I figure I put enough crap into my body that adding another chemical blend would probably be a bad idea. Not that I'm saying adderal (or other needed meds) are bad.. I just don't need any more prescriptions in my name.
Anyways, I'm getting off track. Point is, Kitty is back. Back with a new agenda. It's summertime. Which means beaches, boys, bikinis and alcohol. Currently I am only doing well with one of those things... (hint: it doesn't start with b)
So the goal of summer is to cut back of the alcohol (and work my ass off) so I can fit into a bikini, so I can get a boy who I can then show off when I go to the beach. Easy! (not)
So I'm starting the blog because maybe, just maybe, if I feel accounable to someone out there in the cyber world I'll actually finish this project. Which would be good since this project directly relates to my health, happiness and general well being.
So lets call this Day 1.
I aim to be 35 lbs lighter by Day 80
Because the point of this is to be happier and healthier I wont post my (depressing) start weight. Instead I'll just refer to it as X. So on day 80 I hope to be X-35 lbs. And maybe then I'll be able to post an actual number. So here we go my friends of the interweb. Bring on the boys, beaches, booze and debauchery that is summertime.
I'll try not to get side tracked this time.
Okay, who am I kidding, I lost interest. I have the brain of a goldfish when it comes to trying to complete projects/hand in homework/ write a blog. My best friend likes to point out that of all the drugged out adderal popping hipsters we know, I'm the most in need of some ADD meds. I figure I put enough crap into my body that adding another chemical blend would probably be a bad idea. Not that I'm saying adderal (or other needed meds) are bad.. I just don't need any more prescriptions in my name.
Anyways, I'm getting off track. Point is, Kitty is back. Back with a new agenda. It's summertime. Which means beaches, boys, bikinis and alcohol. Currently I am only doing well with one of those things... (hint: it doesn't start with b)
So the goal of summer is to cut back of the alcohol (and work my ass off) so I can fit into a bikini, so I can get a boy who I can then show off when I go to the beach. Easy! (not)
So I'm starting the blog because maybe, just maybe, if I feel accounable to someone out there in the cyber world I'll actually finish this project. Which would be good since this project directly relates to my health, happiness and general well being.
So lets call this Day 1.
I aim to be 35 lbs lighter by Day 80
Because the point of this is to be happier and healthier I wont post my (depressing) start weight. Instead I'll just refer to it as X. So on day 80 I hope to be X-35 lbs. And maybe then I'll be able to post an actual number. So here we go my friends of the interweb. Bring on the boys, beaches, booze and debauchery that is summertime.
I'll try not to get side tracked this time.
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