LIFE WITHOUT INTERNETZ

So... I haven't been around in a long time.  Like... a LONG TIME.
Partly this is the fault of my pure laziness and lack of inspiration while at home and faced with the blogging alternative of getting drunk and falling down.

Speaking of getting drunk and falling down... last summer in an epic twist of skills and fate I managed to fracture my wrist playing beer pong.  This year while playing the same game (in a different bar) I managed to fuck my knee up.  At first I thought I'd totally blown it but its just strained. I've got some seeeexy gear for when I'm walking now.  Super Sexy.

So after the partying (and smashing and crashing) [b.o.b anyone?] I got on an airplane, which was a whole other blog post of a mess, and came back to the city.  Where I have no TV or internet.  Hence why despite having a small notebook filled with blog ideas (like the revenge on an age old enemy, my dream man, the use of the word cunt and getting searched 6 times at an airport) I have not actually written anything.

And you might be thinking "GO GET YOUR INTERNET SET UP" to which I would loudly (because caps = loudly) think back "DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?" But I have an issue.  I used to get my cable and internet from Time Warner, and they were always good to me.  Has an easy pay system and didn't mind if I was a month or three late paying.  But the video in the cab on my way back from the airport told me that starting this fall Time Warner may no longer have access to ABC or Fox... that means no Glee, no Greys, no crappy ABC Family made for TV movies or other mindless entertainment. This is an issue.  And since I don't have internet I can't actually look up if this is a "may not" or a "will not" situation.  Ugh such stress.

So instead of actually figuring this out I've been distracting myself with xbox.

(btw... If you ever played Fable and hated it [like I did] you should really try Fable 2. It's awesome so far.  2 men have proposed to me and half the town fears me and half of it loves me.  Amazing)

But if not tomorrow then Monday I vow to do SOMETHING about the situation because being parted from my facebook, twitter and this blog are really starting to irk me.  Slash I really need to finish signing up for electives for my senior year.

You might be wondering how I'm updating without internet.. the beauty of starbucks.  Pay $2.50 for a small tea and you get access to the free interweb for as long as they think you still have liquid in your cup.

Well I'm going to go since I've been sitting here for almost an hour and I only ordered a very small tea. As soon as I get my home internet up and running I'll post a real blog post.

Much love Kittens.

(btw, I have twitter on my phone so if you're craving your KKC follow me to get daily doses of insanity and debauchery by me.  [@KKatConundrums])

xxKK

DARTH KITTY

I fear I have officially gone to the dark side.

Yes.

I have twitter.

Now, if you feel like getting bite sized portions of total crap/ horrible advice/ life stories/ snarky world commentary you can just read my alotted 160 characters of Twit. This is also particularly useful if you have an urge to stalk me but don't actually want to deal with the laywer fees from when I haul your ass to court. 

I never envisioned myself as a "Tweeter" but once I found out that the ever gloriously sarcastic Randy Millholland of Something Positive* had an account I just had to get on the band wagon.  And lo and behold (!) like 90% of my favorite comic artists are on there. So now when I need a little taste of genius but can't wait for the daily/weekly/whenever they get to it comic I can just digitally stalk them. 

Greatness.

I'm still trying to figure out this whole hashtag thing... to be honest it sounds like something you'd stick on a bong. 

So... you should follow me.  (twitter.com/KKatConundrums) I even added a little button under "followers" to make it easy for you.  I've found that easier is always better when dealing with the human race.

In other news, I'm not sure if I'm getting seriously spammed or if people are actually reading this barely updated hunk of junk blog.  I keep getting emails saying how interesting it is, or how they like the design, or asking questions about me but then they follow it with "check out my blog/website/religious fundamentalist group" sooooo... if you are reading and not just a cyborg, sorry for thinking you were a cyborg.  If you are a cyborg... DIE CYBORG, DIE.

Anyways.  That's all for now.  I won't promise to update soon because whenever I do I seem to forget.  So I'll just... blog ya later. 

p.s. yay! 60 posts today! woohoo!

xxKK

*check out Something Positive if you need a laugh and your humor falls on the "at the expense of others" or "possibly morally questionable" category: http://somethingpositive.net/ (I suggest, as always, you begin at the first comic)

MUGWUG READS MY BLOG!

So I'm sitting at work the other day (slowly getting my soul sucked out of my eyes and into a computer screen) and MugWug emails me a picture.  Don't worry it wasn't of a wang.  It was one of the last KKC II posts... the post where I complained about his complaining.

Whoopsie daisies.

By the way... for those of you that don't read roman numerals II = 2.  As in KKC 2... like the second in the series of KKC.  (1= conundrums, 2=comics)

Just thought I'd lay that out because sometimes people don't understand.  Because a lot of people are idiots.

Speaking of people who are idiots... I love MTV shows.  I am particularly addicted to Teen Mom. I this 3/4th of the girls on there are dumbnuts however there is one chick (Maci) who is 1) totally cool 2) has a brain and 3) is actually a good mom to her kid.  Her boyfriend is an asshole and a half but she still manages to go to college, work, drag her deadbeat baby daddy to court for child support and still find for hanging out with her child.  The other ones are sort of super stupid.  Like... one almost got knocked up again because *whoops* they "forgot" to use a condom again.  Like... that's not a "my bad" moment.  It's a "oh now I remember how we got this small person thing the first time around maybe I should do the world a favor and sew up my vagina for life" moment.  And one of them can't speak with any semblance of grammar or vocabulary and is so busy complaining about how horrible her family is that she doesn't realize how much they do for her until she has to (by law) move out of her house.  The last couple is actually really sweet and while I do sympathize the loss they feel from giving up their daughter for adoption watching two seventeen year olds complain about what good parents they could have been every single episode gets tiring.

Waitwaitwait... how did I end up talking about Teen Mom... I was going to talk about whiney MugWug.

Oh poo he's boring.  (Just kidding MugWug, you know I love you*)

*probably more than you deserve. 


So on the medical front... after giving a pint of my blood to my doctor to figure out what the hell is wrong with me it's now been two weeks and I haven't heard anything back.  Hopefully thats a "hey you're perfectly fine" silence and not a "oops you're dying" silence.

I've got too much other shit to get in order before I head back to the city so bothering the doctor for test results that might possibly be negative can wait.

Well I'm going to go brush my hair because it's slowly turning into a rat nest.  And this Kitty doesn't really like rats... small sterile mice and hamsters perhaps but not rats. So I'm off little ones.  And if you haven't checked it out go look at KKC II

xxKK

CRACKED OUT KITTY

Okay... so I've been gone waaaaaay too long.  Like, way too long. My sister Marie told me I need to post a new blog so she can stop reading about how I banged that Marine.  *heeheehee*

Memories.

Anyways, I do have a valid excuse for my absense... I got really sick (again, I know) so that resulted in a few days of bedrest and delirium...

Okay.. if you were delierious would you know that you were delierious? Like if you're crazy you can't say that you're crazy because the whole thing about being crazy is that you can't see that what you're doing IS crazy... is delirium the same?

Now I'm feeling dizzy again..

Anyways, as soon as I was better there was a 4 day national holiday here.  It's called Cupmatch and its supposed to be about cricket but its really about DRINKING.

Pretty much the whole nation shuts down and we drink eat and drink and swim and drink and drink and drink for four days straight.

So I was pretty busy...

And then I got back to work post-holiday and my brain was still pretty fucked from its 4 day marination in black rum sooooo... I'm just now getting back to blogging.  I have a bunch of backdated posts to put up but alllll in good time my little muffin heads, all in good time.

Speaking of work, I just got back from lunch where the lovely Marie bought me a piece of baklava.  Which turned out to be a pile of burnt pecans doused in burnt sugar, wrapped in filo pastry and covered with powdered sugar.  Well... clearly I wasnt very impressed with said baklava but I did manage to cover my nose in sugar while attempting to eat it which then stayed on my nose for an hour while I was working and when I finally saw it I couldn't believe noone had mentioned that it looked like I'd snorted a beach length of Cocaine.  I guess they knew that I'm too unproductive to be on coke.

xxKK