THE PLOT IS HATCHED

So let me tell you a little something about MugWug...

For  man who completely objectifies women (while hiding behind his holier-than-thou Jesus loving bullshit religion crap) he does not understand that women are not just there to be used but also have needs.

Sexual needs.

As in, orgasms.

Yes, I am saying that people NEED orgasms in their lives.

And just because I haven't had sex in a *ahem* loooooong time doesn't mean I'm not fully making my quota. I do not discriminate between the orgasm a man can give me and an orgasm gained through electric means.

Or in my case... battery powered.

Meet Senior Margarita.

He's my vibrator. He's pretty amazing. He never leaves the seat up or asks me to pay for dinner. He never forgets to return my phone calls yet he's never overbearing or needy. He doesn't snore or roll onto me in the middle of the night. He never forgets to clean up after himself and he only cares about what I want...

So pretty much he's better than any man.

MugWug is extremely uncomfortable with the idea of a woman having sex with the sole goal being an orgasm (he believes that is just for men... women should be sweet and innocent and want love and babies) So the idea of a woman buying hardware to please herself is just such a foreign idea...

It freaks him the fuck out.

He can talk for hours about how gross it is or how immoral or how, whatever negative word you want to pick, it is.

So when I told him that I recently acquired a battery powered love device he had a conniption fit and started to gag.

So tonight when he gets home from his lady friends house (lady friend being the girl he's wanted to have sex with since freshman year, not his actual girlfriend [and yes he has a girlfriend]) I plan on getting Senior Margarita out and totally going at it.

Now I doubt he'll be able to tell since I have my own room with a permanently locked door and Senior Margarita is extremely quiet and discrete but it will be happening regardless and the emotional toll it will take on him when one day I slip into conversation that I've been getting off 20 feet away from where he sleeps while he's been home with a rubber battery powered cock... well that will just be so rewarding.

I'm really not even sure what well get me off faster tonight... Senior Margarita or the taste of revenge.

Never cross Kitty... she has sharp claws.

Sorry MugWug... maybe if you were a smidge [read: at all] respectful to me or a semi decent roommate I wouldn't be plotting such cruel and graphic revenge.

Uh oh...I hear the front door opening. Time to get out the spare batteries.

xxKK