HOLY FUCK IT'S JUNE...

And it's fucking hot.

I don't know where the rest of you kids are but I'm in the big apple and it's mother fucking melting over here.

I can't believe it's June already. So much has happened and I havent had a single moment to sit down and compose it into one cohesive train of thought.

School is done. I graduated. No more homework or 8am lectures. Which is nice. But also sad.

Working on becoming a US citizen now.

Been getting into the usual drunken trouble.

Fleetweek just passed which was supposed to bring the glory of many a good lay but unfortunately Mama Nature has been after me ever since I accidentally murdered all of the lillies in my neighbors yard (I was 9) so I had an unwelcome guest in the form of my freaking period during the majority of Fleetweek. I still went out and winged for my girlies NP and shiv but it was sad not to hook a sailor.  On the last night I was finally finished surfing the red sea and I nabbed the hottest little seafarer at a dark bar. After beerpong and ass grabbing I was sure we were headed to my apartment (conveniently located a block from his ship) but thats about the time the excuses started pouring out of his mouth. He couldn't leave the bar, he only had 40 minutes left, the other marines might worry. Clearly his only solution was to propose bathroom sex.

Excuse me?

Bathroom sex?

No.

I am not a five buck fuck in the back of a strip club.

When he wouldn't let go of this idea I mentioned that we didn't have the proper equipment (read: condoms) but instead of leaving the bar to go to my house where I have a stockpile of 9 (don't judge me, I'm just prepared) he decided to go to Duane Reade and buy a pack to bring back for bathroom sex. Despite the fact that the time he would spend in line would take three times as long as walking to my house.

Anyways.... Mikey the sailor was hot but as soon as he left me at the bar to buy condoms I downed my drink and left.

Dear Mike, if you read this, you are a smoking hott catch of a man and I'm sure that your tragic flaw is that you are painfully aware of this fact. Despite you being hott and me being ridiculously in need for a good bang I do have standards and they include not fucking where people regularly piss. Yours, Kitty.

That pretty much sums up all of my Fleet week adventures. In the middle I hosted some crazy boys who thought that by causing my many grey hairs and making so much noise that my neighbors now cut their eyes at me when I walk by makes them bad ass. They played basketball inside my house, did "parkour" (i.e. they jumped on shit) in Times Square and fell asleep at a bar while going beer to beer with me and NP. According to the rumor mill I had sex with one of these over sized children but that's been put to rest. When someone accused me of denying the truth I pointed out that I would be very happy to get laid but I don't like taking credit for things I haven't done.

My mama raised me better than that.

Anyways... that catches you up on the last few weeks. Everything else is less interesting and frankly I'm too tired to keep typing.

Things to address in the next post:
- PBA coming to town next week... wants "casual stress relief sex"
- Ninja still playing with my heartstrings and I'm playing with the idea of telling him I still love him
- MugWug moved in with me. I don't like to share and I don't play well with others so this is quite a stressful bit of news.
I'd go on but it's late and I already set my alarm for 8am so I need to get in a catnap.

Love to you all.
xx KK