A BIT ABOUT "PBA"

So... I sort of brought up the general topic of PBAs (Penis By Appointment) the sort of in-between of One Night Stands and Fuck Buddies.

And I sort of mentioned that PBA, as far as the rest of this blog goes, unless otherwise stated, is actually a new person of interest. I mentioned that right? Somewhere in tiny font in a post script?

So really by bringing the idea of PBA to your attention I was actually trying to introduce a new character....

Can I call him a character? I mean all the people I write about are real people.. including PBA.  But their lives are only interesting to write about when they pertain to the focus of this blog: Me.
(I did admit in the very first post of KKC that blogging is extremely narcissistic.)
So in someways he is just a character.  Because just like selective honesty is the same as lying, selective storytelling is sort of like fictionalizing.

But it's not fiction. It's my life.

Anyways. So PBA and I decided to become... well... Penis By Appointment friends.  We rarely hang out and when we do it always turns to talk of sex and I'm not getting any and He's not getting any so why not use each other in times of need?

Right?

Wrong.

So we decide this and we talk about it ALL THE TIME when I'm in NYC and he's in the fucking UK.  And we finally get home for winter break after talking about it for weeks and then... nothing.

We occasionally talk on skype but he's usually heading out and I'm usually feeding the dog or sleeping when he calls (because he calls at 3 in the goddamn morning!) So we keep missing each other.  Then it comes time for him to leave but lo and behold his flight gets cancelled and pushed back a week.

It's like God wants me to get laid.

But then he like disappears into his house like a fucking rat and I don't hear from him until last night.

And last night he only spoke to me to remind me that he only had one day left before he left (which makes it tomorrow now) and he was surprised he hadn't seen me at his house yet...

Excuse me?

Dear PBA,
You live an hour away from me, which is as far as you can possibly get from one another on this tiny island) and it's been windy as hell, I only have a motorcycle license and frankly I'm not going to drive for an hour in gale force winds on a lark, hoping to run into you at your house that I'm not actually sure if you're at or not because YOU NEVER TELL ME WHEN YOU ARE HOME.
Also, if you can't pick up the phone and call me to say "hi", let alone "lets fuck", then I honestly don't have the energy to put into the commute let alone the sex.
Love, Kitty.

So he calls, wants to see me BUT (shocker) he's busy alllllllll day hanging out with his grandpa.  Maybe at night we can finally meet up and sex in the back of the bar he owns.

Romantic, I know.

So I agree, hell why not? I've got nothing better to do with my Tuesday nights.  So I spend the day chilling and being awesome like usual and then around 8pm I change into my Kitty PJs (yes I own pajamas with cats on them...two pairs in fact. These ones are pink) because I figure that the only way that he could possibly even think of calling me is if it is the most inconvenient time. Like if I was in my PJs halfway to passed out watching a really good movie on cable.

But apparently even playing against the odds won't help this Kat get some.

It's now 9:36.  If I don't hear from him by 10 it's a no go.  First, who hangs out with their Grandpa til 10pm the day/night before they fly away from all their friends for 6 months. Second, if you don't call me by 10 then I won't get there till 11 (and that's driving in the dark with wind and rain) and then, if you're worth your stuff, we won't be done til 12 and I won't get home til 1 am.  I try to be off my motorcycle by midnight.  Any later and I take a cab... its safety first.  And lastly, if I am the last thing to do (literally) on your pre-flight checklist then you honestly don't deserve to have me.  I should have been the first thing.

Because while I know we aren't going to fall in love and runaway together or any of that crap I do know that I am awesome in bed.  Even in the back room of your bar.

So I'm ending this transaction of penis for lady parts.

But you've earned the nickname PBA, you little manslut, so that stays.

Yours,
Kitty.

xxKK