PUT DOWN THE PDA, ITS TIME FOR PBA.

Thats right ladies* I said put down PDAs.

*if you are a man 1) you are crazy 2) you stop reading this post, and possibly this blog unless you are a) gay or b) entertained rather than offended by the following vulgarity. 

Personal Digital Assistants
Parenteral Drug Association
Pharmacists Defense Association
Public Democrats of America
    AND
Public Display of Affection....

I have something better.

It's something I like to call P.B.A

What does that stand for?

Well its not the Patrolmens Benevolent Association
or the Professional Bowlers Association
or the Phillippine Basketball Association (in fact its not an association at all)
or even the Professional Benefit Administrators.

No, it is much better than that.

Read my lips.

Penis.  By.  Appointment.

That's right.

Penis by appointment.

Now now now, before you get all haughty taughty and pissy poshy and start spouting about "morals" and "spiritual wellbeing" first of all, shut up, you want to (in the words of the oh so classy Jersey-Shore-ers) "get it in" just as much as the rest of us, secondly, if you dont... this is the WRONG blog for you.  Lastly, I'm not talking "for hire" I'm talking "by appointment"

Big Difference.

For hire is like a prostitute... and a man who has no worldly attributes or qualifications to offer you except for a useful penis is not an attractive idea.

By appointment is like... one step up from a FB (which doesn't mean facebook on this website... it means FUCK BUDDY)
See FBs get complicated because someone gets attached and it gets messy because you're all "Heyyyy let's do it before I go out, but don't act like we did it, because I wanna see if I can get anyone else/better and I dont want you scaring them off or getting jealous because I really don't like you like that, I just like your penis/vagina like that."
And then they cry.
At least, that's been my experience.

But you see a PBA is much easier.  It's practically a business agreement.
You have a friend.  There's some sexual tension and you find them mildly-extremely attractive. They return the sentiment.  You really don't have time for a real relationship/you think they're pretty but you don't really want to like... get to know them.  So you agree to get together and have sex occasionally.  In my experience it's better to do this with someone you have a mild friendship with because that insures you against turning into FBs or a desperate bitch or (god forbid) a girlfriend.

This does cause some problems though... because its then less likely that you guys will hang out often and this decreases the likelihood of frequent sexual encounters.  But that's why god invented texting.

"hey u free. wanna s3x?"
"ya. cum by @ 4?"
"hows 5? I got 2 wurk til 4"
"kewl."
"fuck you then"
";)"

Oh yahhhh. Nothing turns me on like misspelled words of sexiness.

But honestly you have to set these things up via texted based communication devices.  Saying to a man that you only want to see him for sex may sound like their ultimate fantasy but it's just so awkward when through the silence he realizes that you have no interest in him as a person but only as a plaything.

Okay this is making it sound bad.

Honestly its not as dirty as it sounds.  But everyone has those friends who they never really hang out with one-on-one because you arent that close and you don't have the hidden agenda of wanting to date them but you wouldn't mind banging them.

Right?

I think I'm too tired to make sense anymore

that is... if I ever made sense at all.

xxKK.