Like... I know that I can be over bearing and paranoid sometimes.
But this is not one of those times...
The sudden drop off in conversation, the lack of interest and the definite lack of plans all point to him blowing me off.
And that's really not cool because I asked him if he didn't want to come. I asked point blank if he didn't think he was going to make it and if there was a reason he wasn't talking to me.
AND HE SAID NO. He said No he wasn't "not talking to me" and Yes he was still coming.
WELL THAT'S SUPPOSEDLY TOMORROW. and I have no idea when his flight gets in, what train he's taking to the city, if he's taking a train, where he wants to meet, when he needs to leave.. NOTHING.
It's tomorrow.
And I've tried. I've tried to BBM him all day long and he hasn't even bothered to read them.
So I should take a hint and not bother cleaning up my living room or going over to NP's in the morning to get her to strap me into the super sexy corset I bought. I shouldn't bother washing my hair tonight and I shouldn't have bothered to pick up condoms.
I just shouldn't ever bother.
He's blowing me off and that's fine I guess... I with he had taken the out I offered him instead of just disappearing but whatever.
I just thought that for 8 hours of my only day off in a week that I could maybe feel like someone wanted me. That there was a possibility that anyone would ever want or love me again. But maybe I left that all behind. Maybe it's better to get used to being alone. Maybe I'm not supposed to get married and have a big family and a bushel of pets. Run PTA meetings and drive my kids to soccer practice. Maybe I'm just meant to be... a bartender... who lives alone in the city and drinks to much.
My future is totally awesome.
xxKK
No comments:
Post a Comment