ON FUCKING UP A GOOD THING

So remember that Skipper character I was telling you about?

Of course you do, I only introduced him 2 posts ago.

Anyways as previously stated he was being pretty awesome to me. We were hanging out all the time and not always in a sexual way. Like he's not just in it for the sex.

Clearly this is a good thing.

Right?

Wrong.

When presented with something wonderful instead of seeing the glass half full I see a challenge to destroy the glass.

I dunno if I mentioned this before but part of the reason I've been missing in action is because I was in the process of being kicked out of New York.
Well... out of America actually.

So in fine Kitty Kat fashion I decided to celebrate/mourn my departure in the best way I know how: Drunkly.

I decided to throw a party! I spent all this time planning and making it, in my head, sound awesome. I, in my nervous angsty state, tell everyone for 6 weeks how awesome this party is going to be. We're going to drink at my place and then go on a drunken scavenger hunt and get wasted and stupid and make it a night that we can't remember.

Well.

That didn't happen.

There was some drama with people not wanting to participate which sent me in a downward spiral of anxiety and led to some preemptive drinking. Which led to me running out of time and deciding to nix the scavenger hunt that I'd been talking about for so long. Which led to more anxiety and more drinking.

So when 8 rolled around and Skip showed up I was half in the bag and having a bit of a breakdown.

So sexy.

We end up hanging out for two hours just the two of us so I get drunk and crazy, I'm jumping on furniture and giving kisses and singing along to pandora like a mad woman. And he's just taking it all in with a smile.

Explain to me then why I decided that night to get belligerent and do something stupid?

After 2 hours of anxious waiting my friends and coworkers showed up. Including my work husband slash best guy friend, Jay.

Now I love Jay in a purely platonic way, despite our previous... encounter.

But I do love the kid. And I'm very sad to be leaving him. I'm a drunk and hes Italian. So clearly we like to mourn with our mouths.

And I'm not talking about talking...

We're being playful the whole time that we're at my house and more people are arriving and somewhere between drink 4 and 14 I kind of lose sight of Skipper and I'm dancing with people and Jay's holding me up and we're sharing a cigarette on the fire escape and having heart to hearts and thats when it hits me... I'm leaving!

Like... the country.
And all my friends and the people who have become my family.

And I start to have another break down. And Jay is there to comfort me and soon I'm suggesting that we all head to a bar. And I grab Skip and give him a kiss but then I'm off, arm in arm with Jay. Get to the bar and its all downhill. I'm getting free drinks and shots and I can't tell which way is up.

To be fair at this point I got very flirty with everyone... Skip, Jay, Shiv, Bobby the bouncer... the walls..

And I tried to get Skip up and dancing. I'm pulling at him and purring in his ear and he is just not budging from his barstool. So I move on to all of my coworkers.. dancing and singing and playing and the oh whoops my mouth is on Jays.

And then Jay and I are kissing.

It starts with a simple kiss. A peck. We're talking about how close we're going to stay and Jay's telling me how much I mean to him and it's just a kiss. A goodbye kiss.

And another.
And another..
And another....

And thus the night goes. I get drunker and it's not long before I've halfway mounted Jay in the hallway and we're making out pretty hard core.

Oops?

We return to the main bar and I'm off again, singing karaoke and saying my goodbyes to everyone.

So many tears.

The night comes to a close, and so does the bar so we head off into the night.
More goodbyes
More tears.

Skipper is comforting Siobhan as she has an epic breakdown and I love him for that.

So Jay and the other coworkers disappear into the night and I grab my man Skip and we head home.

He helps me out of my shoes, which I've managed to break, and feeds me a sandwich and a few glasses of water. Gets me undressed and puts me to bed.

He even lets me get frisky and play with him.

Now I'm not completely oblivious... I'm aware that he was pretty quite all night but I figure he was fine with the events because he still took me home. In my head it totally makes sense that he'd understand that the business with Jay was just goodbye kisses... right?

Ugh I'm not good at this shit.

At least I went out with a bang.

Can you imagine the shit that would have gone down if Mitch had shown up? Oh lordy.

More drams later..

xxKK