Alas winter is ending. Most people would rejoice the return of the sun and daisies but I am a creature of hibernation. I make nests. I wear sweatpants. I like to layer. I drink tea.
But alas winter is ending. The birds are chirping. The dogs are barking. The fish are bloopblooping. I have a headache.
The sun is shining. The colors are bright. I lost my sunglasses.
People are in the street smiling and eating ice cream. People are in the park playing frisbee. People are in my way.
Flowers are blooming. Bees are pollinating. God damn allergies.
Murr.
Okay, enough of the curmudgeon-ness. It's actually sort of nice. Once I pop some tylenol, grab a drink and strip off my sweater I'm actually sort of ready to leave hibernation (and my nest) behind and celebrate the day.
Especially since the day is the one I've been counting down to for 365 days... HAPPY ST. PATTYS DAY! (i.e. international day of dress in green, drink a guinness and horde your gold) So go grab a leprechan (or, equally, a human) and give 'em a kiss (for luck) grab some whiskey and take a swig (for happiness) and get into some pure debauchery for some good ol' fashioned fun. Today, any man wearing green is instantly a little more attractive than another. It's sort of an irish GPS. Once you're drunk you don't really notice little things like attractiveness or whether their jokes are actually funny BUT the bright green Tshirt that says "Fuck Me, I'm Irish" does let you know that this man is up for fun... and is therefore a winner.
Don't be a fool though, keep some trojans on hand (green or otherwise) because no matter how hot he (or she) may actually be, a romp in the hay with an irish hottie is never worth a shot of penicillin to kill your new born Syph.
Just saying.
With that mind, go get some cash (its green!) go get a man (its fun!) and Fill Yer Boots Man!
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