So I think its about time that someone clarified a few things for the men creatures of this world..
Dear menfolk,
We, women, are not always turned on by the same things as you. I'm sorry that makes it more complicated to figure out what we want but like... how about you try talking to us insted of assuming... To make things a litttttle easier I figured I'd give you a list of just a few things that I think you should know... in my humble opinion...
1) You may like to stare at hoohahs all day but I really don't want to look at your dick. Don't offer to show it to me on cam, don't "sextext" me photos of it, and don't just take it out and expect me to revel in its glory like... no offense but it's not that pretty... And don't email it to me at work, how is that sexy? how? "Oh I'll get that invoice for you straight away sir, let met just check my em- OH GOD A WANG!".
2) My body parts do not have names... your little man might be called Little Adam or Thor or Conquerer of Doom but my vagina is not Princess Leona, Virgina or "my pretty pink place of pleasure" Oh and upstairs they are called breasts, boobs or tits. No funbags, no "the twins" no nothing.
3)I don't find it sexy to know how much you can please a woman... I mean its sexy to know you can please ME but don't tell me about other ladies because that is just.. ew..
4) We want a bad boy, yes... but also no... Like.. we want a sexy mysterious man with a dark side but who won't actually hurt me or break my heart and it would be nice if he was in touch with his sensitive side lol.... Lets be honest... we don't even know what we want so good luck figuring it out for yourselves.
5) Not all vaginas are the same. How about you spend five minutes figuring out what I like instead of assuming that I' exactly the same as your last chick... funny story.... she liked being jumped while she was still asleep and pounded by you like a clam by an otter? I DONT. Gimme a little romance you dickwad.
6) Kissing is not a waste of time. I shouldn't have to explain why... just do it okay?
Okay I'm tired right now so I'm done for now but trust me there is plenty more for you creatures to learn lol.
Ladies... email me anything else you think of for the next post @ KittyKatConundrums@gmail.com
i. am. obsessed. with you. the end.
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