...to what might possibly be the seventh circle of hell...
yes, that is right, I am going to L.A.
city of angels my ass....
I was genuinely excited to go to LA because I get to see MugWug for the first time in over a month and spend some much needed girl time with Liz (plus theres the shopping and the airport time... I love airports...) but now that I'm sitting at the gate and seeing the sort of people that I'll be encountering....
Kitty is scared.
I travel in comfortable clothes... all black, leggings, slouchy top and easy slip on vans. It makes getting through security easy and sitting on planes for several hours almost pleasant.
Apparently comfort is not a priority to the locals though... There are people wearing head to toe white... and glitter... and bedazzled shoes...
And there is a man in a pink shirt and a white blazer... its like I fell into a miami vice-gold digger hybrid. And I don't like it.
A rat just popped out of a backpack... by rat I mean an albino little fucker of the chuiaua species. I swear to god if I hear one yip or yap or rapataptap out of that dog I will smack its unholy abomination of a head so hard that it will jump out the window and take its chances with an unparachuted jump from 40,000 feet up.
Rat.
The flight begins and a small child pops up with a bedazzled iPhone and she insists on calling her nanny to say she's on the plane. I might actually vomit.
Now they're playing the Last Song.
Kill me now.. lemme break this down for you... a girl from New York, who sounds like a man from texas, moves to Georgia for a summer with her father. She's grumpy and hates everything. She gave up everything she ever loved because shes sooo dark nd twisty and damaged. Then a boy steals her heart and suddenly she wants to "sing" and be fun again. Oh emm gee boys make like everything like totally better! *gag* This movie isnt over yet but I predict a stupid twist of "you lied to me I hate everything about you and now I hate life again" and then a "oh I forgive you and now everything is better" ending.
Sweet Lord Baby Jesus, save me.
In an interesting LA flight twist though, I have now met MugWugs doppleganger... like not even kidding, he's got his jawline, height, body, fshion sense and even his hair! (now if you ever met MugWug you would understand that the hair is a big deal... he spends so much time on it.. and it's this very particular color and shaped very specifically... god forbid his hair isn't right at any point in time) Anyways... the only thing thats different about this guy is he has totally different eyes and his smile is much more goofy than MugWug... which is hard to do...
Oh wow... the "you lied to me" twist of Last Song just happened and it wasn't even a whole minute between that and the "my brother died so I get to be an asshole and sensitive at the same time...ooh im such a dark and twisty boy" twist.
Okay I'm off to continue judging my flightmates. Because this opertunity may never come around again.. (one can only hope).. and there are only so many straw fedoras and fake glasses that I can take before busting out the serious judgement.
The one promising thing about this flight? The guy in front of me is reading a movie script. Like a real live movie script... I'm writing a script currently and it's nice to be reminded that one day someone might be reading mine.. and then hopefully all y'all will be watching them on a big screen.
Lots of love,
Mama Kat.
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