JUST ASSUME I'M FAT!!!

Okay... you don't hear that often. But sometimes you would just rather people assume your fat than the alternative. I mean people don't generally comment on your fatness in social situations or in casual polite conversation.

But they will mention when they think your pregnant.

Like when this woman at the pharmacy was eating some strawberry froyo and engaged in a conversation with me and I mentioned that the froyo looked delicious. And she asked me if I was expecting.

At first I didn't understand like.. expecting what? for you to give me your froyo? No, I'm not expecting that, but it would be nice... but no. She patted her belly and asked again. "Are you expecting?"

Yo, Lady, just assume I'm a fatty who likes fro yo... don't jump to baby in my belly. And I'm not that fat! Like yah I'm chubby but it is alllll over it's not like I have the Mama-to-be body of average sized limbs and a giant beach ball belly.

Self conscious. So self conscious.

So before things get awkward in your next situation just assume someone is fat and don't talk about it. Unless I'm wearing a "Baby on board" sign on my uterus or a sign that says "I'm pregnant... oops" then just assume I'm fat. If I am carrying a weeks worth of newborn diapers and stocking up on prenatal vitamins just assume I'm a fat person running errands for a pregnant person who obviously can't do their own errands because they are pregnant!

Anyways... just thought I'd let that rant out.

I'm off to find either a plastic surgeon looking to do some pro-bono lipo on my baby belly orrrr an orange juice.

xx KK