RELATIONSHIP STATUS: DECREPIT

So I spend a lot of time on Facebook.  Mostly because I have no life nothing better to do ever at work. And I do love my Facebook.  What's not to love? It's totally narcissistic.  I look at photos of myself, check out what hilarious things I've posted before, try to come up with ever increasingly witty statuses and totally stalk my ex's see what people are up to.

Don't even try to act like your surprised/judging/don't do the same thing.  Anyone with a blog already likes themselves a bit too much and I already warned you from the start what kind of person I am.

Anyways.  So I love Facebook.  Well... that is, I like Facebook when Facebook likes me.

Which is to say I like when it tells me I have 5 new friend requests.
And when it says 14 people have commented on my latest photo album.
And when my friends are posting about the kick ass party they plan on throwing this week..
And when somebody "likes" my status.
And when it suggests I like 'UFC' and 'puppies' because it knows that I am a tough bitch with a sensitive lovable side.

But sometimes Facebook is not my friend....

Like when it tells me that only random old fat dudes want to be my friend...
and that 14 people have commented on how hot everyone but me in that album is
and that I wasn't actually invited to the big weekend party...
and that the status people like is when someone hacked my computer and posted "is going to die"
and when it tells me that I should like 'alcohol' and 'Match.com' because I'm a lonely hag of a drunk.

Such Depression.

Another time Facebook is not my friend is all the time.

Because no matter how good of a day I'm having Facebook can always remind me that I am stuck in singledom.

Kitty Kat
Gender: Female
Interested in: Men
Relationship Status: Decrepit

Fucking thanks Facebook.