But I wouldn’t exactly call myself the typical girl…
My idea of a fun night out does not include group trips to the bathroom or drinks with umbrellas. When hosting movie night I’d rather watch Saw 1 2 & 3 than The Notebook and when picking my ideal pet I would choose a large dog who could probably eat both your cat and your rhinestone adorned Chihuahua in one sitting.
I like comics and video games and UFC and shots of jäger and talking smack with my guy friends and I would be so happy to wake up at 2pm on a Saturday, open a beer and chill in front of my flat screen for a couple of hours.
So I guess I’m sort of a dude…
But then again I love cooking, and I am a total mama bear and I like snuggles and I obsess over my hair way too much.
So now I’m back to being a chick.
But I use words like “chick” so I’m back to being a dude.
Oh the conundrums.
Well recently I figured out that being a dude-chick hybrid might just work in my advantage. I mean think about it… I am like the perfect package!
I’ll lure men to my sweet pad with the promise of xbox and UFC and then make them want to stay for dinner when they smell the deliciousness wafting from my kitchen.
And over dinner and wine they’ll see how classy and wonderful I am.
But they won’t be worried about me being too stiff or stuck up because they’ll appreciate how my inner G comes out when I’m smackin’ bitches and pouring 40s on my homies while playing Saints Row.
They will respect that I live alone in a pretty large house because it means we can have some bitchin' parties but don’t have to worry about that awkward roommate when we want some alone time.
He’ll love taking me out with his friends because I’m so funny and friendly, but, also because I can tell you the stats of 25 different MMA fighters off the top of my head.
He’ll take me home to meet his family because he knows his Mom and I will bond over dinner prep but I’m still cool enough to joke with his rowdy brothers.
He’ll make fun of my nerdy obsession with ComicCon but will take solace in knowing that I’ll never judge him for his model airplane collection.
He’ll love that I can have a good time wherever we are, whether it’s a grimy sports bar, an upscale night club or his Great Aunt Greta’s 15th wedding reception.
*sigh* We’ll be so happy forever…
...
who am I kidding… I’m going to be single forever…
murr - KK
I have seen you consume a drink with an umbrella. Just sayin. I have ALSO witnessed you purchase Bartels and James.
ReplyDeleteWhatever though at least you're not EMOTIONALLY a dude. Minus the fact that I am in fact attracted to men.
When the umbrella drink is at your own private bar/kitchen it doesnt counttttt.
ReplyDeleteAnd I just like that they're called BJs...
*teeheeheehee*