Football is one of the only team sports that I can really sink my teeth into. It's exciting and fun and at times ridiculous and it brings nations together. I'll admit I don't really follow during the year, I try to catch a match every now and then but ESPN often conflicts with my SpikeTV shows so... sad panda.
Once every two years I get to get in touch with my roots and yell like a crazy person in sports bars. My inner "Portagee" (Portuguese) comes out and I hang a flag from my house and I take offense to anyone who says anything bad about Tiago or Ronaldo.
Yes, Ronaldo is a whiney little man but he is good at what he does and fucking fantastic to look at.
And Tiago has always been pretty solid to the team. A team is only as good as its weakest link and these two raise that standard.
That being said...
WHAT THE FUCK PORTUGAL? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING TODAY???
I get it, Ivory Coast is a pretty equally matched team to yours and maybe that scared you a bit but what the fuck. Mr. Ronaldo manages to hit the post from 40feet and you can't rally enough to get him that close again? You started so strong and then... blap...
like an over eager high school boy in bed with a porn star you lose all your confidence and ability... the anticipation and nerves are too much and despite your preparations you pussy out.
Yes Portugal, I just compared you to a limp dick.
And who wins when there's a limp dick involved?? Nobody!
So get it together! Man up and rally together and figure out how to play this game with Glory.
You did it in '08... you can do it again.
I have faith in you! Forca Portugal!
also...
if you don't find this man obscenely sexy then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you... like...
mmmm mmmmm good.
....sweet lord baby jesus...
delicious.
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