SERIOUS PROBLEMS

So I clearly don't bitch enough (ha) so I figured I'd dedicate this whole post to ailments in my life right now.

1) split ends
.... no i'm not kidding. these things are serious! they are like mutant split ends and I'll be sitting at work and I see one so I cut it off and then I see another... and another... and another... and before you know it ive spent two hours searching my head for more split ends and I'm in a deep depression over the state of my once beautiful hair

p.s... never bleach your hair. ever. its not worth it.

2) lack of snacks
theres a vending machine right next to my office but to get to it i have to walk past my boss and i feel like she would judge me for wanting to get snacks so often so I refuse to go there. The two exits are located outside my two bosses office so either way they would see me leave and return and know that i succumbed to my need for carbs and sugar....

im so hungry..

3) lack of sex
this doesnt even need much of an explianation... im not having it and i would like to. every man is a potential conquest and that makes it very difficult to concentrate

4) lack of muggywuggy.
i get cranky when he's away and it makes me nervous to not be able to keep an eye on him. plus, dude, sometimes a chick just needs to talk to her muggywuggy.

5) lack of fun
this place sucks the fun out of everything

6) doing work that i dont understand.
I went to school for drama and you want me to do what? seriously? no, seriously?

7) this fucking loud ass keyboard that lets the whole fucking office know when im typing. no typing means im not working (usually means im surfing the interwebb for funny pictures) and too much typing also means im not working (usually means im working on this blog)
so... gah.

8) I STILL NEED SNACKS